


Breaking Through

by dizzy



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-04-10
Updated: 2003-04-10
Packaged: 2018-03-04 14:14:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3071168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The title is a song by Steve Forbert, though it really has nothing to do with the story.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Breaking Through

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a song by Steve Forbert, though it really has nothing to do with the story.

It’s been a year and a half, and he promised himself that he wouldn’t do this. It’s just plain stupid and Billy knows better. Or at least he should. There must be a book somewhere, he thinks, a book with a thick bolt title – “The Rules of Conduct When With Your Ex” – and he’s just as sure that the first one goes something like ‘though shalt not fall in bed with him’. But Billy’s always been that kind of accidental rule breaker, and he doesn’t read as much as he should, anyway. Besides, where Dom is involved, he’s proven time and time again that he just can’t quite help himself.

Dom. Oh, yes. That large, snoring lump in the bed next to him. But… he does look awfully cute, with his brow furrowed, his hand on Billy’s stomach. As if Billy’s staring has disturbed him, Dom shifts and one eye opens. He sees Billy and smiles, snuggling closer. “Morning.”

“It’s 3 am. Still night.” Billy corrects him.

“Right. Well.” Dom moves again, scooting up the bed until he’s at eye level with Billy, sharing the same pillow. “I’m awake now.”

“I see that.”

Billy can’t seem to stop staring. Dom hasn’t changed all that much, really. A couple day’s worth of stubble on his face, his hair is a bit shorter, but besides that, he just the same was he was the last time Billy saw him.

They never really broke up. They just stopped being together. Billy hasn’t seen anyone else. He doesn’t know if Dom has. He hasn’t asked, and he’s not planning on it. He doesn’t want to know.

“Billy.” Dom’s smiling now, his hand flexing on Billy’s stomach, his fingers brushing against skin. “What are you thinking?” His face is so close to Billy’s, so close that he can hardly believe it. He didn’t really ever expect to wake up next to Dom again.

“Wondering what happened… with us…”

“Oh.” Dom’s smile flickered, but only for a moment, then it returned, brighter than before. “Oh. Like… relationship-wise?”

”Aye. Something like that.”

“Billy.”

“Yeah?”

“You think too much.”

Billy laughs. “I think you’re right, Dommie. Too right.”

”I missed you.” Dom says, his voice lacking something that is usually there, something Billy can’t quite put his finger on.

“I missed you, too.” And he’s about to say more, something maybe that Dom wouldn’t like, but Dom kisses him and he loses the rest of the world, just like that. He thinks, somewhere deep in the back of his mind, that it shouldn’t be this easy. Things don’t just fall back into place. Time changes things, it changes people. A year and a half can do a lot of change. Especially to things like this, like him and Dom, so precious that surely it wouldn’t be hard to break.

“Don’t think.” Dom whispers against Billy’s lips. His eyes are closed, which Billy thinks is odd. Dom is the kind of person that likes to see reactions.

 

 

 

The next time Billy wake sup, it really is morning, and there’s nothing but an imprint on the pillow beside him. He feels an ache stronger than he’d ever admit to. The bastard, he thinks, couldn’t even give him this – waking up together, a proper goodbye.

The door opens and Billy is too surprised to regret thinking anything that had just crossed his mind. There is Dom, a silly grin on his face. He’s carrying a tray, one that holds two plates full of food, two tall glasses of orange juice, and a yellow flower in a light blue vase. “Good, you’re already awake.

Billy doesn’t say anything, but the look on his face must be enough for Dom. He accepts the food, and the soft kiss that accompanies it, with a smile. “I thought you’d left.” Billy says, not meaning for it to come out as an accusation and not entirely sure why he’d said it to begin with.

Dom turns his back to Billy. “Want coffee?”

“Sure.”

Billy waits for Dom to sit down again before he starts eating. He’s upset Dom, he realizes, because Dom isn’t smiling anymore, and he would feel bad, except how many times has Dom left him feeling upset?

But he does like Dom better smiling. So he leans over and kisses Dom on the cheek, murmuring, “Thank you.” And Dom softens a little.

“I wasn’t leaving.” Dom says after a minute. “I’m sorry that you think I would.”

Billy can see that he really means it.

“I didn’t think you’d leave the first time. In Glasgow. And you did.”

”I know.” But then, Dom adds. “You didn’t try to stop me. You didn’t even call, once I was gone.”

“I do have my pride, you know, and I was trying to keep it intact. Besides, I wasn’t even sure that you wanted to call. I didn’t know if you were getting away from the country or me.”

“It wasn’t you, Billy. That’s stupid. Why would I want to get away from you?”

Billy shrugs.

“I didn’t know what leaving would do to us.” Dom says. “I guess I just thought that things would… keep on. The way they were, you know.”

There it is, Billy things, right there – there’s the difference in Dom and himself. Billy had known that it wouldn’t last, with them apart, so he hadn’t even tied. He thought things through. Dom never did. “It doesn’t work like that.”

“I know. Well, I know now.” Dom laughs, but it’s half-hearted and empty. They’ve both stopped eating. Billy’s watching the flower on the tray. Dom’s watching him. “Billy.”

“Yeah?” The flower is swaying now, gently. Billy reaches out and lets his finger brush against a velvet-slick petal.

“If I come back, do you think we could try again?”

Billy lets a lengthy amount of time pass, a pause broken only by one small sigh. “No, Dom.”

“No?”

“No.”

The flower sways again, as the bed adjusts to the loss of Dom’s weight on it.

 

 

Billy is numb as he gets off the plane. He’s back in Glasgow and it feels like home, except home is much emptier without Dom here with him. The loss is still there. The regret. But he won’t a substitute for whatever it is that Dom didn’t find when he went out searching for himself.

His movements are mechanical as he gathers his luggage and hails a cab. He can’t stop thinking. He remembers Dom - _don’t think_ \- and wishes that for once he had listened.

He’s half asleep when he stumbles into his flat, but awake enough to realize that something isn’t quite right. A light in the kitchen is on. There’s a duffel bag by the couch. He’s just about to connect the dots, when-

“You’re home.” And there’s Dom, wearing an apron and a nervous smile.

“How did you get here?”

“I took an earlier flight than you. Got in about two hours ago. You’re not mad, are you?” Dom’s still standing there, all the way over there, and it just seems wrong to Billy that there’s so much space between them.

“No… I don’t think so. Why are you here?”

“Because. I was wrong by leaving. The first time, I mean. I didn’t even realize it until I saw you again. You act so… like everything was really over. And it hit me – I was wrong to leave. I thought maybe I could make it right by coming back.”

Billy opens his mouth to speak, but Dom rushes ahead. “I love you, Billy. But I’m young and I’m stupid and I’m bound to make a few mistakes along the way. Just don’t let my mistakes mess up what we have. The last year and a half – it was a mistake. But I was too dumb to just say forget it and come back. I was too scared. That maybe you wouldn’t want me – or – well – I was just scared.”

Dom slows down because Billy is smiling now and it feels like some of the pressure is gone. “Okay.” Billy says, slowly.

“That’s it? Just… okay?”

“You’re here. What else is there to say?” Billy’s still smiling and his eyes are twinkling with that familiarity and humor and acceptance.

“I don’t know.” Dom moves closer. “Maybe… don’t ever leave me, Dominic, I can’t live without you…”

“I’ve done just fine the past year.”

“Or… I need your sexy body…”

“Were you cooking? I’m hungry.”

”Or…”

“I love you?”

Two arms find themselves around Billy’s waist. Dom leans in close and whispers, “You know, that works.”


End file.
